This One is a Keeper

Someone to Fall Back On

Jason Robert Brown

I'll never be

A knight in armor

With a sword in hand,

Or a kamikaze fighter;

Don't count on me 

To storm the barricades

And take a stand,

Or hold my ground;

You'll never see

Any scars or wounds-

I don't walk on coals,

I won't walk on water;

I am no prince,

I am no saint,

I am not anyone's wildest dream,

But I can stand behind 

And be someone to fall back on.

Some comedy-

You're bruised and beaten down

And I'm the one 

Who's looking for a favor.

Still, honestly,

You don't believe me

But the things I have

Are the things you need.

You look at me

Like I don't make sense,

Like a waste of time,

Like it serves no purpose-

I am no prince,

I am no saint,

And if that's what you believe you need,

You're wrong- you don't need much,

You need someone to fall back on...

And I'll be that...

I'll take your side.

If I'm the only one,

I'm use to that.

I've been alone,

I'd rather be

The half of us,

the least of you,

The best of me.

And I will be

Your prince,

I'll be your saint,

I will go crashing through fences

In your name. I will, I swear-

I'll be someone to fall back on!

I'll be the one who waits,

And for as long as you'll let me,

I will be the one you need.

I'll be someone to fall back on:

Your prince,

Your saint,

The one you believe you need

I'll be- I'll be

Someone to fall back on.

Source: Musiixmatch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qpvnSqoItU

This one is a keeper alright!

I hope you take a moment to listen to the song. It's more than just another love inspiring tune. The simple repeated sentiment of this song actually has a very strong therapeutic value and relevance to us all. 

So much so, that I thought it was worthwhile doing a breakdown of the song by focusing on the main idea being expressed lyrically.

Let's begin.

The big picture of what is being expressed throughout the song relates to romantic love, but more specifically, the words give voice to several key and essential traits of a good partner. And this for me, is the big takeaway.

Someone to Fall Back On is an important quality to look for in a love partner and to strive for in ourselves. 

The song starts out with a self-description of what this person is not. There is no wow effect going on here. He's not trying to impress with charm, fakeness or hype about himself. There's no instant passion or chemistry between them. He is not professing to be anyone's dream guy and in fact he knows he is not anyone's wildest dream. 

But underneath everything he is not, is everything he is. He can stand behind and be someone to fall back on.

He is willing to be emotionally vulnerable. There is straight talk and sincerity. He is presenting an authentic image of himself, not an inflated one. He is emotionally mature with a sense of security about who he is and what he has to offer. He is willing to go beyond the surface and in doing so, is taking a risk. His honesty and openness, shows respect for self and others. He doesn't have to captivate his partner to feel secured. He can stand behind and be.  He is someone she can count on and trust to be there. His presence is real and means so much more than just being there physically.

You're bruised and beaten down and I'm the one who's looking for a favor. 

He is able to see her, hear her and stay with her. In other words, he is not running away. He recognizes her emotional wounds and how they impact current behavior. Yet, he is willing to be by her side despite their differences because he owns his truth. The favor he is asking for is really for her benefit. It seems as if he is asking her to give him a chance and not blow him off so quickly, but he is clearly aware that what he has to offer is worth more than she knows.

Still, honestly, you don't believe me but the things I have are the things you need. You look at me like I don't make sense, like a waste of time, like it serves no purpose.

What he has to offer is exactly what she needs and so much more than what she tells herself she wants. He seems to know her and lets her know she is being seen, heard and understood for who she is. This is known as validation and is a core part of all healthy partnerships.

I am no prince, I am no saint, and if that's what you believe you need, you're wrong- you don't need much, you need someone to fall back on...

And I'll be that...

He knows what matters in a relationship- being emotionally present, emotionally connected, and open to intimacy. It's showing your love through actions. He is not afraid to love and commit to her and to the relationship. He is willing and able to show up for her and be that... 

I'll take your side. If  I'm the only one, I'm use to that. I've been alone, I'd rather be the half of us, the least of you, the best of me. And I'll be your prince, I'll be your saint, I will go crashing through fence  In your name I will, I swear... I'll be someone to fall back on.

He is now saying that if she were to let him in her heart, he will be her prince, saint and the one she needs for as long as she lets him. But he also reminds her, he can stand on his own. He knows how to be alone and can handle it. He will be ok, but would rather be with her. The overall message is that this is a man who is driven by love, not fear. It seems he understands the power of love and how it can bring out the best of someone. Loving deeply has a way of making someone want to be their very best for those they love. It's true. 

Ultimately, if a potential love interest or a current partner is really a keeper, you'll know by how they make you feel about yourself. Pay close attention to who you are, who you become, and how you feel when you're in their presence. 

Final thoughts:

You are more likely to appreciate a good partner when you are committed to working through your own inner conflicts rather than ignore, blame or run away from. 

Intensity and drama does not equate to love. In fact, romantic connections that move too fast, too soon, early on may be a sign that you're going the wrong way. Love is not fast paced; it is slow and steady and builds momentum as it progresses.

Don't ignore or minimize the red flags. 

People who are emotionally unavailable are emotionally disconnected from their emotions and closed off to intimacy; they can't handle their own feelings nor the feelings of others. Memorize this.

If you have a history of getting involved with emotionally unavailable partners, then perhaps, you too are emotionally unavailable. That would make you the common denominator wouldn't it?

 Attracting emotionally unavailable partners may indicate that you are not open with your own emotions. You may be too guarded and not comfortable showing vulnerability. If you hold back your emotions, you are not being real in your interactions with others.

The relationship we secretly have with ourselves: how we see ourselves, feel about ourselves and talk to ourselves is in my opinion the strongest deciding factor of the people we attract and keep in our lives.

Our relationships with others and especially a partner, reflect the relationship we have with ourselves. Unless we work on our issues, we will most likely select partners who can confirm our fears, negative beliefs, and mirror back to us our own negative qualities. When the relationship ends, you'll know the signs were there all along based on their actions. 

To break this pattern, you must learn to love and accept yourself deeply and completely. Once you believe in your worth and value who you are, you will recognize a keeper when you meet one and will know that you are one yourself.

Thank you for reading!