Having A Good Relationship

  Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.

                                                          Gloria Steinem

I selected this quote for the simple reason that it is so apropos for a conversation on being good with ourselves. Granted, I'm sure the words by Ms. Steinem mean something different to different people, but as you will see, I have my own interpretation and as you may guess, it relates to having a good relationship with ourselves first and foremost before we can re-create that with others. This is, in my opinion what it means to do the right thing for ourselves in our own lives.  

Becoming your own right person is about being okay with who you are. Know this: when we are okay with ourselves, we are attracted to relationships that are generally healthy and good. Others who accept themselves for who they are will be attracted to us. The direct opposite is also true: when we are not okay with ourselves, we might pursue relationships that are unhealthy and unsatisfying or just not right for us. Others who are not in a good place with themselves will be attracted to us.

This is worth repeating: good relationships are more likely to occur when we have a good relationship with ourselves. We attract others that are similar to us on the inside. If we struggle in loving ourselves, we are likely to attract those who share the same struggle.

Your outside relationships reflect the relationship you have with yourself.

Here's what being okay with ourselves mean:

Being okay with our own insides. Accept yourself as you are. Stop denying or hating your human failings. When we acknowledge and expose our vulnerabilities, it changes to something other than shame.   

Accept your fears, inadequacies, faults, mistakes, imperfections and more; give voice to your strengths and achievements and love yourself for all of it. 

Get to know and like yourself, all of you. This way, you will have less resistance to work on the parts of you that need to heal and change. When we resist, sabotage and/or continue to repeat destructive patterns, we are really questioning and struggling with our sense of worth and value. 

Learn to give yourself love. Don't just talk about it, show it, and not by the things you have that are outside of yourself. Self-love runs deeper and is so much more than success, abundance and anything else one can buy. Love of self resides on the inside, but shines its' light on the outside. We know when it's there. Nothing quite like it. It's an intimate experience with ourselves that tells us we're in good hands. Our own.

When we are willing to see that our most important relationship in life is the one we have with ourselves, we are more open to looking after ourselves with love, understanding and compassion. We are more inclined to meet our own needs and this makes it so that we are not desperately looking for the right person. We clearly see, we are the right person. This not only improves our outside relationships, but opens the possibility of attracting others who are also their own right person in their lives.

Take care of what you have: you.

Thank you for reading!