A Better You

                Anyway : The Paradoxical Commandments ~ By Kent M. Keith

                           People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
                                                  Love them anyway.
                 If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
                                                  Do good anyway.
                 If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
                                                  Succeed anyway.
                          The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
                                                  Do good anyway.
                           Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
                                        Be honest and frank anyway.
                 The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down
                 by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
                                                 Think big anyway.
                            People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
                                       Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
                 What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
                                                    Build anyway.
                  People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
                                              Help people anyway.
                  Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
                                     Give the world the best you have anyway.

This inspirational poem written in 1968 is as relevant today as it was back then during the Vietnam War, Civil Rights Movement, and the assassinations of US President John F Kennedy and Martin Luther King. What do these historical events have in common besides the fact they all occurred in the 1960s? They were very challenging and difficult times for our nation. Many remember it as a time and place of great uncertainty, insecurity, and fear. Fast forward 48 years later and here we are again- living with a pervasive sense of dread of what is to come as a result of the United States presidential election of 2016. It appears to be open season on overt racism, sexism, and xenophobia which only means we have a fear of change and a fear of people. People are talking about this everywhere. Yes, even in therapy.

As a therapist, I have had the privilege of listening to the voices of good people who are afraid that our beautiful multicultural country is under attack by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Good-hearted people are concerned not just for themselves, but for others; afraid that we are moving backwards on issues of diversity, individual freedom and the need to respect all lifestyles. But, what if we use these hard times for deep reflection and conversations about who we are, what we stand for, and what really matters in our lives. Although the ugly has come out, this only serves to bring out the greater good. Change is never linear. Set-backs can actually push us to go further.

This poem literally points the way- a nicer way to move in all areas of life. It offers a strong message on bringing out your better self in the face of adversity. When clients ask what they can do to make a difference, my response is always the same: Be A Better You. Altering lives for the better must begin with changing yours first.

It is possible to be a better you in spite of the circumstances around you. What does this look like in our daily lives? Less self-serving, more self-giving. Less indifference, more empathy. Less fear, more courage. Less denial, more truth. Less ignorance, more understanding. Less hate, more love. Less conflict, more peace. Less pessimism, more optimism. Less dishonesty, more openness. Less exclusion, more involvement. Committing to this way of life will help you discover the freedom that comes from knowing that you decide who you are and how you live.

Helping others and doing good is not always easy, but I believe without a doubt, it is the best way to live providing us with the highest returns for a happier, more fulfilling, meaningful life.

In challenging and difficult times, do your best.

Thank you for reading!