What I Wish For You...

As we bid farewell to 2016 and welcome the fresh start of a new year, I wish you...

Abundance
"Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance." -Eckhart Tolle

Awareness
"The things we think about, focus on, and surround ourselves with will ultimately shape who we become." -Joyce Meyer

Clarity
"The direction of your focus is the direction your life will move. Let yourself move toward what is good, valuable, strong and true." -Ralph Marston

Compassion
"Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion." -Buddha

Confidence
"Stop hating yourself for everything you aren't. Start loving yourself for everything that you are." -Unknown

Courage
"What may look like a small act of courage is courage nevertheless. The important thing is to be willing to take a step forward." -Daisaku Ikeda

Determination
"We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different." -Unknown

Empathy
"Empathy is the antidote to shame." - Brene Brown

Faith
"Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there." -M. Antoniinus

Freedom
"In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change lies our happiness and freedom." -Buddha

Friendship
"We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection." -Dalai Lama

Happiness
"Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you." -Ralph Marston

Health
"He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything." -Proverb

Kindness
"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato

Laughter
"From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere." -Dr. Seuss

Love
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." -Morrie Schwartz

Peace
"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thankfulness
"If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share." -W. Clement Stone

Trust
"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." -Benjamin Spock

Understanding
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." -Khalil Gibran

As you go through, and sometimes struggle with life, find and trust your inner wisdom and it will take care of you.

Here's to life and living. Happy New Year!!

A Better You

                Anyway : The Paradoxical Commandments ~ By Kent M. Keith

                           People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
                                                  Love them anyway.
                 If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
                                                  Do good anyway.
                 If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
                                                  Succeed anyway.
                          The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
                                                  Do good anyway.
                           Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
                                        Be honest and frank anyway.
                 The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down
                 by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
                                                 Think big anyway.
                            People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
                                       Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
                 What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
                                                    Build anyway.
                  People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
                                              Help people anyway.
                  Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
                                     Give the world the best you have anyway.

This inspirational poem written in 1968 is as relevant today as it was back then during the Vietnam War, Civil Rights Movement, and the assassinations of US President John F Kennedy and Martin Luther King. What do these historical events have in common besides the fact they all occurred in the 1960s? They were very challenging and difficult times for our nation. Many remember it as a time and place of great uncertainty, insecurity, and fear. Fast forward 48 years later and here we are again- living with a pervasive sense of dread of what is to come as a result of the United States presidential election of 2016. It appears to be open season on overt racism, sexism, and xenophobia which only means we have a fear of change and a fear of people. People are talking about this everywhere. Yes, even in therapy.

As a therapist, I have had the privilege of listening to the voices of good people who are afraid that our beautiful multicultural country is under attack by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Good-hearted people are concerned not just for themselves, but for others; afraid that we are moving backwards on issues of diversity, individual freedom and the need to respect all lifestyles. But, what if we use these hard times for deep reflection and conversations about who we are, what we stand for, and what really matters in our lives. Although the ugly has come out, this only serves to bring out the greater good. Change is never linear. Set-backs can actually push us to go further.

This poem literally points the way- a nicer way to move in all areas of life. It offers a strong message on bringing out your better self in the face of adversity. When clients ask what they can do to make a difference, my response is always the same: Be A Better You. Altering lives for the better must begin with changing yours first.

It is possible to be a better you in spite of the circumstances around you. What does this look like in our daily lives? Less self-serving, more self-giving. Less indifference, more empathy. Less fear, more courage. Less denial, more truth. Less ignorance, more understanding. Less hate, more love. Less conflict, more peace. Less pessimism, more optimism. Less dishonesty, more openness. Less exclusion, more involvement. Committing to this way of life will help you discover the freedom that comes from knowing that you decide who you are and how you live.

Helping others and doing good is not always easy, but I believe without a doubt, it is the best way to live providing us with the highest returns for a happier, more fulfilling, meaningful life.

In challenging and difficult times, do your best.

Thank you for reading!