Your Addiction Comes Clean

Dear Friend,
I've come to visit once again. I love to see you suffer mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. I want to have you restless so you can never relax. I want you jumpy and nervous and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable. I want you to be depressed and confused so that you can't think clearly or positively. I want to make you hate everything and everybody-especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have done in the past that you'll never be able to let go. I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but your addiction for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy, and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all and I want you to wake up during all hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can't sleep without me; I'm even in your dreams.

I want to be the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you touch before you black out. I would rather kill you, but I'll be happy enough if I can put you back in the hospital, another institution or jail. But you know that I'll still be waiting for you when you come out. I love to watch you slowly going insane. I love to see all the physical damage that I'm causing you. I can't help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the same time, when you wake up with your sheets and blankets soaking wet.

It's amazing how much destruction I can do to your internal organs while at the same time, work on your brain, destroying it bit by bit. I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me.

The countless good jobs you have sacrificed for me. All the fine friends that you deeply cared for- you gave them up for me. And what's more, for the ones you turned against yourself because of your inexcusable actions-I am more than grateful.

And especially your loved ones, your family, and the most important people in the world to you. You even threw them away for me. I cannot express in words the gratitude I have for the loyalty you have for me. You sacrificed all these beautiful things in your life just to devote yourself completely to me. But do not despair my friend, for on me you can always depend. For after you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in living hell, to keep your mind, body, and soul. For I WILL NOT BE SATISFIED UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD MY FRIEND.

Faithfully yours,
Your addiction and drug of choice


I spent many years running support groups for patients in addiction recovery. This powerful letter was always a good ice breaker for newcomers to see and understand their place in the group. As a therapeutic tool, it exposes the nature of the disease and shows its true colors. For many, this letter serves as an eye-opener, helping addicts look at the devastating effects of addiction and putting the spotlight on their similarities rather than their differences. It never fails to get everyone's attention.

While it is true that no two addicts are exactly the same, once addiction is evident, it takes on a life force of it's own. It's aim and sole purpose is to destroy. Make no mistake about it, the wrath of addiction becomes stronger, more potent the longer it goes untreated.

Addiction is a chronic disease with a fatal outcome if not treated. The good news is that it's also a treatable disease and recovery can be a reality. Getting clean and sober is one of the most important choices someone can make for him or herself. The road to recovery may be a hard one, but so worth it. The same degree of effort and perseverance that goes into seeking, obtaining and using substances will be required of the addict who is serious in his or her pursuit of recovery.

If it's you or someone that you know struggling with addiction, the first step is admitting that you have a problem and deciding to do whatever it takes to get better. It is often the case that we become open to change when the pain of escape becomes greater than the pain of reality.

The disease cannot hide forever. Eventually, your addiction will come clean with you. The question is, will you listen?

Coming to terms with the truth is freedom. I wish you both.

Source:
Letter from your addiction available on the internet
Author Unknown