Your Addiction Comes Clean

Dear Friend,
I've come to visit once again. I love to see you suffer mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. I want to have you restless so you can never relax. I want you jumpy and nervous and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable. I want you to be depressed and confused so that you can't think clearly or positively. I want to make you hate everything and everybody-especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have done in the past that you'll never be able to let go. I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but your addiction for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy, and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all and I want you to wake up during all hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can't sleep without me; I'm even in your dreams.

I want to be the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you touch before you black out. I would rather kill you, but I'll be happy enough if I can put you back in the hospital, another institution or jail. But you know that I'll still be waiting for you when you come out. I love to watch you slowly going insane. I love to see all the physical damage that I'm causing you. I can't help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the same time, when you wake up with your sheets and blankets soaking wet.

It's amazing how much destruction I can do to your internal organs while at the same time, work on your brain, destroying it bit by bit. I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me.

The countless good jobs you have sacrificed for me. All the fine friends that you deeply cared for- you gave them up for me. And what's more, for the ones you turned against yourself because of your inexcusable actions-I am more than grateful.

And especially your loved ones, your family, and the most important people in the world to you. You even threw them away for me. I cannot express in words the gratitude I have for the loyalty you have for me. You sacrificed all these beautiful things in your life just to devote yourself completely to me. But do not despair my friend, for on me you can always depend. For after you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in living hell, to keep your mind, body, and soul. For I WILL NOT BE SATISFIED UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD MY FRIEND.

Faithfully yours,
Your addiction and drug of choice


I spent many years running support groups for patients in addiction recovery. This powerful letter was always a good ice breaker for newcomers to see and understand their place in the group. As a therapeutic tool, it exposes the nature of the disease and shows its true colors. For many, this letter serves as an eye-opener, helping addicts look at the devastating effects of addiction and putting the spotlight on their similarities rather than their differences. It never fails to get everyone's attention.

While it is true that no two addicts are exactly the same, once addiction is evident, it takes on a life force of it's own. It's aim and sole purpose is to destroy. Make no mistake about it, the wrath of addiction becomes stronger, more potent the longer it goes untreated.

Addiction is a chronic disease with a fatal outcome if not treated. The good news is that it's also a treatable disease and recovery can be a reality. Getting clean and sober is one of the most important choices someone can make for him or herself. The road to recovery may be a hard one, but so worth it. The same degree of effort and perseverance that goes into seeking, obtaining and using substances will be required of the addict who is serious in his or her pursuit of recovery.

If it's you or someone that you know struggling with addiction, the first step is admitting that you have a problem and deciding to do whatever it takes to get better. It is often the case that we become open to change when the pain of escape becomes greater than the pain of reality.

The disease cannot hide forever. Eventually, your addiction will come clean with you. The question is, will you listen?

Coming to terms with the truth is freedom. I wish you both.

Source:
Letter from your addiction available on the internet
Author Unknown

Teachings From Mother Earth

Teach Me...
A Ute Prayer

Earth teach me stillness
   as the grasses are stilled with light.
Earth teach me suffering
   as old stones suffer with memory.
Earth teach me humility
   as blossoms are humble with beginning.
Earth teach me caring
   as the mother who secures her young.
Earth teach me courage
   as the tree which stands all alone.
Earth teach me limitation
   as the ant which crawls on the ground.
Earth teach me freedom
   as the eagle which soars in the sky.
Earth teach me resignation
   as the leaves which die in the fall.
Earth teach me regeneration
   as the seed which rises in the spring.
Earth teach me to forget myself
   as melted snow forgets its life.
Earth teach me to remember kindness
   as dry fields weep with rain.

This Native American prayer is an absolute gem. Over the years, I have come to see this prayer as a blueprint for a way of being that makes us fully human. It presents human characteristics as the essentials for life that when put to use can give meaning to our existence. We can all learn and develop these qualities through practice and attention, and by doing so, they become our strengths.

The act of...

stillness allows for self-reflection, self-knowledge, and self-awareness. Make time to be still and you will see with the heart what is most important and be thankful for it.

suffering is the common thread that unites us as human beings. It is the painful side of life that none of us want to experience; however, if we keep an open mind, we will see there is meaning in the midst of our suffering. Our attitude towards personal suffering can transform tragedy into triumph. 

humility makes us teachable. It allows us to appreciate others, listen more and speak less.

caring for and helping other people is a gesture of love that benefits the giver even more than the receiver. Showing that you care keeps your heart open and makes you a better person.

courage is moving forward in spite of fear. It takes courage to take responsibility for your life and allow yourself to be real.

knowing and acknowledging our limitations helps us lose our arrogance. Being realistic about what we know and don't know is a strength that allows us to make progress and lead the life we want.

freedom is the ability to choose our thoughts, have our feelings, and create our own path in life. Real freedom comes from the choices we make and how we respond to life's challenges in any one moment.

resignation is perhaps stated best by Reinhold Niebuhr, "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Resignation is also knowing when it's time to let go and move on.

regeneration requires ongoing maintenance. It relates to the importance of replenishing our bodies, our selves - spiritually, mentally, and emotionally by looking within and being open to support from others.

forget myself has to do with shifting the focus from self to other long enough to help those in need. It is about paying attention and being engaged with others. In other words, " Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand." (Philippians 2:4 MSG)

kindness is all good. It softens the heart and brings happiness to both the giver and the receiver. Choose to live with kindness. Be kind with yourself and others. Remember, when someone is unkind to you, that's about them and not you. Try not to personalize everything that happens to you. It's not always about you.

Finding meaning in life is what a well lived life is all about. May the message in this prayer help you see what's most significant in your world.

Cheers!