Take Responsibility, Not Self-Blame

                   
                 Take responsibility, not self-blame is a powerful tool for change!

A few words on this very important topic that may appear simple, yet in actuality, can be ambiguous. There are many folks who confuse the two. Responsibility is not the same as self-blame. Knowing and understanding the difference between the two is a valuable life lesson for us to learn. Let me explain.

While it is true that there is much to life that is beyond our control, let us not forget, we have the power to choose to take responsibility for ourselves and our lives. I believe the key to maintaining good mental health lies in taking responsibility for our own "stuff."

So what does it mean to take responsibility for our lives without self-blame?

To take responsibility...
*Is about keeping the focus on yourself, accepting accountability for your actions and acknowledging your influence and role in what is happening or not happening in your life.
*Enables us to create our own lives, regardless of the hand we've been dealt.
*Is empowering. Is a good habit for life. Eliminates the victim trap. Is the path to wellness.
*Shows willingness to look at the reality you are experiencing and take charge of your own life.
*Increases our motivation to make the effort to change; propels us forward and brings forth healing.
*Is liberating when we are able to see our part in what is going on, accept what we've done, learn from our mistakes and move on.
*Helps us to take ownership of all that is going on in our lives, the wanted and unwanted stuff and only then are we able to create something new.
*Is not judgment, but all about actions we are willing to take on our own behalf simply because we matter to ourselves.
*Gives you the power to change your life.

Self-blame...
*On the other hand is an attack on the self; It is not compatible with healing.
*Does absolutely nothing to relieve emotional pain or make your life better in any way.
*Engages you in a cycle of self-victimization. You tell yourself, you are not in charge.
*Is associated with fault and though this may feel like taking responsibility for what is going on, it really is not.
*Reveals a need to beat ourselves up which only makes us feel worse.
*Leads to self-punishment as you keep telling yourself, "I should know better. I shouldn't have done that."
*Carries guilt, shame, and overwhelming sadness, along with a sense of failure and defeat.
*Is surrendering our power to take charge of our lives.
*Hinders our ability to respond to situations or circumstances in which we find ourselves.
*Prevents us from seeing we always have a choice.
*Does not help you work through the emotions. In fact, it is a defensive block used to divert attention away from change.
*Is all about self-recrimination, self-judgment and reflects self-hatred.
*Perpetuates hopelessness and helplessness because all we are doing is going around in circles rather than taking responsibility for our lives.
*Serves to keep us stuck and unable to make the changes that we so much need.
*Says who you are, where you are and what you are doing is bad. What good can come from a place of self-condemnation?
*Is a way of avoiding responsibility.
*Does not work.

To take responsibility for your life without self-blame is to be committed to yourself. It is realizing that if you want to take control of your life, you must first accept the accountability that comes with living a life.

What you make of your life is up to you. Drop the habit of self-blame and pick up the one on minding your business! Get busy changing what needs changing and create the life that you most definitely deserve. You will not be disappointed.

Remember...
"Taking responsibility for being exactly where you are gives you the power to be exactly where you want to be." - Unknown

"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility." - Eleanor Roosevelt

The truth is...
"You've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." - Louise Hay

"When you think everything is someone else's fault, you suffer a lot." - Dalai Lama

"When you think everything is your fault, you will also suffer a lot." - Samsara


Enjoy!