When a mistake is NOT a mistake

Hello,

                                 " You can never make the same mistake twice
                                 because the second time you make it, it's not a
                                 mistake, it's a choice."
                                                                     ~ Steven Denn

To err is human...make no mistake about it! It happens to the best of us. We've all done it and will continue to do so...again and again. Let's face it, making mistakes is a fact of life and something we must all deal with. Don't be discouraged because of mistakes. See it as a learning process. Acknowledging mistakes and understanding them can bring about new insight and beneficial change while also teaching us lessons of wisdom. So you see, mistakes are not a bad thing. They are meant for learning and developing a good sense of judgment. Unfortunately, for many people, it takes repeating the same error of judgment over and over again to learn the lesson. Herein lies the distinction between a mistake and a bad decision. A mistake repeated is no longer a mistake, but a decision.

The decisions we make, whether good or bad, big or small affect our lives. Repeating the same mistakes over and over leaves us feeling inadequate, emotionally exhausted, and vulnerable. We start to view ourselves negatively, questioning our capacity for good judgment, and losing sight of our natural gift within: our common sense. The best recourse is to be willing to LEARN. It is critical to remember that we are in charge of our own learning and responses. Once you accept the fact that the life you lead is a direct result and consequence of the decisions you make day in and day out, you will be in a better place to turn your life around. You can learn from mistakes or repeat them...the choice is yours to make! 

A common mistake we ALL make from time to time is confusing a mistake with a bad decision. Let me emphasize that none of us are without risk of making bad decisions. We've been there, done that and more than likely will make bad decisions again over the course of our lifetime. As the saying goes, "strive for progress, not perfection."

A mistake and a bad decision are not one in the same. Although both are considered an error of judgment there is a vast difference; understanding what that difference is can lead to personal growth and greater commitment to self.

A mistake is defined as a misunderstanding; an action or judgment that is misguided; to understand something or someone incorrectly; something done without intent; doing something without any knowledge of possible negative consequences; oversight; an error in action or judgment caused by insufficient knowledge; to understand wrongly. In other words, if you do something by mistake, you do it accidentally.

A bad decision is defined as a poor choice; you override your senses and choose an option that on some level you know you should not.* You know something is not in your best interest and you do it anyway. It is done intentionally; doing the same thing with the same negative outcomes is a bad decision. This is similar to "insanity" as defined in the 12 step programs of recovery such as Alcoholics Anonymous: doing the same thing in the same way and expecting different results.

Here are a few examples:

Mistake = Getting into a relationship with someone who is not right for you.
Bad Decision = Deciding to marry this person regardless

Mistake = Revealing too much of yourself on a first date
Bad Decision = Deciding it's okay to take this person that you just met home with you

Mistake = To find yourself with someone who doesn't show you love
Bad Decision = To stay with this person and sacrifice your innermost needs

Mistake = You estimate incorrectly the travel time to your destination
Bad Decision = You speed just to make good time

Keep in mind: mistakes are unavoidable but bad decisions are within your control!

Actions you can take to make better decisions:

-Think before you act. Weigh in the pros and cons of your decision and consider the consequences.
-When in doubt, look within. Listen to your inner voice - Your natural ability for guidance. This internal guide knows what is best for us. You can call this voice, intuition, conscience, divine spirit, inner resource and so on.  It communicates mostly through feelings and may come in the form of a hunch, a gut feeling, strong sense and/or physical sensation. Listen to your body - it never lies. Learn to pay attention, listen, trust, and act on it. 
-Make decisions that support what is most important to you. In other words, what matters to you; decisions that reinforce your values. Don't half commit yourself. Be consistent about what you say and what you do. Talk the talk and walk the talk. Look at where you are and where you want to be and make decisions accordingly.
-In making decisions take into account your innermost wants and needs. Consider what is best for you - after all, if you don't who will?
-Take responsibility for your life and know that it is totally up to you to make better choices.
-Make decisions based on what is - what you are seeing and not what you hope to get. Deep down inside you know what is right for you and what is not. You know the truth and have the answer. Know this: when you can trust yourself to do the right thing you don't have to worry about whether or not you can trust others.
-If what you are doing isn't getting you what you want, change your behavior. Don't forget the old saying: actions speak louder than words. Change your thinking to change your direction.
-Be willing to learn, open to feel, and commit to change.

Concluding quotes:

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
                                                                      ~ Albert Einstein
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
                                                                      ~ Maya Angelou
"Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do."
                                                                      ~ Benjamin Spock
"The choices we make dictate the lives we lead. To thine ownself be true."
                                                                      ~ William Shakespeare, 'Hamlet'.

Your Decisions...Your life!

Enjoy :)

*www.decision-making-confidence.com/effects-of-bad-decisions