Believe it or not, in my search for a really good definition of Boundary, the one source that in my opinion said it the best was by Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
"Personal Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe, permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits."
Healthy boundaries is how we take care of ourselves in the context of our relationships with others. It is a form of self-love and self-respect that reveals your self-worth.
Unfortunately, there are those who minimize and even lose sight of how important boundaries are in all relationships. Many of these individuals have simply not learned how to set boundaries. They present a history of family dysfunction in which boundary violations were the norm. In such cases, families exercised either loose boundaries or very poor ones showing little to no regard for the right of privacy or respect of emotional and personal space.
The good news is that it's not too late to learn and start practicing healthy boundaries. At first, you may feel uncomfortable, guilty and unsure about communicating your boundaries and getting your needs met; however, in time, you will see it is your right and responsibility to let others know your limits.
The following key phrases are often aligned with Good Boundaries: being clear with yourself and others on where you stand; knowing your bottom line; safeguarding your values and principles; protecting your self-esteem, individuality and the right to make your own choices; being clear on what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from others; communicating how you want to be treated by others; maintaining a space of physical and emotional safety; and, taking responsibility for yourself, your own feelings and actions and allowing others to do the same for themselves.
In short, we all have limits; these limits are called boundaries; it is our responsibility to communicate this to others.
Setting clear, healthy boundaries helps you define what is and isn't allowed in your life. It sends a strong message to others that you value yourself and will not accept less than you deserve. It's hard work, but the results are exactly what we need: feeling safe, stable and secured inside yourself.
All this makes setting healthy boundaries a pretty big deal, don't you think?
To further illustrate just how important and necessary boundaries are in our self-care, I've included a selection of quotes that you can turn to when feeling confused and having a hard time.
"Boundaries are the lines we draw that marks off our autonomy and that of other people, that protect our privacy and that of others. Boundaries allow for intimate connection without dissolving or losing one's sense of self." - Amy Bloom
"It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it."
- Mandy Hale
"You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won't accept." - Anna Taylor
"When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated."
- Brene Brown
"Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have." - Anonymous
"You get what you tolerate." - Henry Cloud
"Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn't make me mean, selfish, or uncaring just because I don't do things your way. I care about me too." - Christine Morgan
"The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you." - David W. Earle
"Individuals set boundaries to feel safe, respected, and heard." - Pamela Cummins
"Boundaries need to be communicated first verbally and then with actions." - Henry Cloud
"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others." - Brene Brown
"Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom." - Henry Cloud
Take care of yourself.
Thanks for reading!
