"To see your drama clearly is to be liberated from it." - Ken Keyes Jr.
Many people fill their lives with...
Melodrama. Conflict. One problem after another; emotional turmoil, frustration, and stress. They overreact, blow things out of proportion, and turn small issues into crises. Often, the struggle is with other, but at the heart of drama is always a battle within. Overly dramatic individuals are prone to exaggerate the emotions they experience and the seriousness of a situation. Feeling their emotions intensely plays a big part in how drama plays out. It seems that some drama-driven individuals are agitators, thrive in conflict, while others are more emotionally invested to come to the rescue and save the day. I have found that often what the person is seeking is to be needed. When problems arise, drama-oriented people are usually quick to take control of a situation and attempt to fix things. The need to be needed mixed with rescue tendencies is triggered every time trouble is brewing. They seek emotional intensity and this sets them up to play the game-Drama in their lives again and again. It is no wonder drama always seems to follow them. Does this sound familiar?
If so, here's something to remember:
Drama does not just walk into your life.
Either you create it, invite it, or associate with it.
- Unknown
Here's what I know:
Reoccurring drama, particularly in major life areas means something. It is revealing a truth about us that we may not want to see or admit to. The truth is many of us actively participate in drama. We do so for the secondary gains; however, whatever the payoffs, the cost of our behavior will outweigh the benefits. A drama-based life will only hold us back, keep us from changing negative patterns and solving our problems.
Something to keep in mind:
Reacting to life experiences in such dramatic ways often puts us on the negative path to nowhere.
So why do we create, invite, and engage in drama?
"There is still so much drama in my life, but I'm not a sad person anymore."
-Nikki Reed
Perhaps...
1. Engaging in drama-based behavior makes you feel more alive. When we are in our pain, feeling stressed and overwhelmed, we also get to feel alert, awake, and connected to something or someone other than ourselves. This may feel better than living with an emotional void, sense of emptiness, or experiencing the depth of loneliness.
2. Drama can be a distraction from things you don't want to think of or do anything about such as your unhappiness, fears, goals, and whatever else you want to avoid and not have to deal with. In this instance, drama becomes a distraction from your own life.
3. Drama is something familiar. This might have been the way you engaged with your family. We are drawn to what we know. Drama is learned behavior that can become an approach to how we live our lives.
4. Drama gives us a sense of importance; personal power and fulfills a need to be needed. This attention seeking behavior is how we get seen, heard and known by others and can become a strong part of our identity.
5. For many, the opposite of drama is boredom and who wants to live with that. Sometimes boredom can trigger a need for stimulation resembling you know what- Drama.
6. Drama gives rise to our emotions. You might say, it's a mood changer. We can go from boredom to excitement; sadness to anger; unhappiness to feeling more alive; loneliness to connectedness with others; self-anger to blaming others; fear to sense of power. I could go on, but I think you get the point. Drama creates shifts in how we feel.
At the root of all drama is a disconnection with self and others.
Our resistance to accept ourselves and others as they are perpetuates drama in our lives; keeps us from making meaningful life changes, and may be our biggest roadblock to understanding how we lose ourselves along the way.
Managing drama.
While it is true that no one can avoid drama all the time, there are ways we can stop it from taking control over our lives.
1.We must learn to recognize and acknowledge drama when it's happening.
2.We can't always control what happens in our lives, but we can choose how we deal and react to things.
3.Hold back from reacting too quickly to a situation; this often gets the cycle of drama going.
4.If you find yourself getting too worked up, consider using mantras to help you stay calm and look at the problem differently. These are some of my favorite ones: let whatever happens, happen; this will pass; let what will be, be; it's no big deal; so what?
5. Be honest and ask yourself, "Has drama ever improved anything of great significance in my life?"
6. We give up our power to drama by talking about it to others over and over again. Stop this.
7. Do more of what makes you happy. When we are happy, we do drama a whole lot less.
8. Focus on doing what is right for you and let it serve as your guide.
9. Learn to see problems as situations that can happen to all of us. Reframing your thoughts is a powerful method to help you see things in a new light.
10. Put your efforts on what you can control, not on what you can't.
11. Remember that all that happens to us is up for interpretation. This means, we get to choose how we feel about things. The final say on drama is on you.
We can learn to be at peace with reality no matter the circumstances.
Thank you for reading!
