Saying 'I Love You.'

                   
                           "There are never enough I Love You's." - Lenny Bruce 

We have a great desire to love and be loved. It is what we ALL want and need most in life. It cannot be emphasized enough the importance of saying and hearing the words, I Love You. These words, when stated with real meaning can open us up inside, break down barriers, lower our defenses, and in an instant help us feel connected. This connection is what we yearn for.  

Say 'I Love You' every day and make sure to include yourself. The presence and knowledge of it, knowing it is there and having it in our daily lives is what carries us and keeps us going. Love in our thoughts and in our hearts is what makes life worthwhile and makes going through the painful side of life easier to bear. Love sustains us like nothing else.

There is no greater gift to give than your love.
Sure, there are those in our lives that make it easier or more difficult to express love to, but it's the ones that are suffering and struggling a battle within that need our love even more so. Expressions of love come in many forms, however big or small, it is always a gift that benefits all. The giver feels open and free with love and the receiver feels that they matter.

Sometimes 'I love You' is used without much thought. Other times, not used enough. And sadly, for some the words become harder to say. We must remember that we are all dying. Yes, that's right, death comes to us all. Life is short and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Life and death are happening right now so we must not hesitate to say I love you to those close and dear to our hearts. You're going to miss your loved ones when they're gone. No time to waste. Know that what matters most is LOVE- say it, mean it, and show it. By the way, let us not forget, random acts of kindness with people we come in contact with is a show of love and just as meaningful.

Love through life. It keeps us feeling alive.
I know no better way to live than with love; no better way to grow than from love; no better way to heal our wounds than through love. Love is everything. It's the best prescription for living life fully and completely. Pass it on to others.

Love is always available.
If love is what you want, then the first thing you must do, is be a reflection of that which you seek. Perhaps, this famous quote by Seneca the Elder says it best, "If you want to be loved, love." I have found that when we allow love to be the basis of how we live, love is returned right back to us.
Love is everywhere and comes from many sources. Don't make the mistake of limiting yourself to romantic love only. Stay open to receive. Surround yourself with love and just allow it to enter. The more open we are to love the more it will be available to us. We will experience it to the extent to which we can conceive it in our own mind. Believe in love. Expect it. See it around you. Speak it. Give it. Live it. This is how love manifests itself and grows in our lives.

Love looks at us as we look at it.
If we look at love with trepidation, distrust, insecurity, fear and doubt, then the love we are likely to meet up with will match that. In other words, the love you encounter will be one that can't be trusted, filled with insecurity, fear and anxiety. If on the other hand, we see love as good, and available to all, then we are likely to come in contact with abundant love that is ours for pure joy.
In love as in life, we get what we expect and not always what we deserve.

Plain and simple, love is what we need.
Being more loving in your heart, having the courage to express it and passing it on is 'what the world needs now.' We all need more love.
When I think, feel and show love, I connect with the best part of me. I wish you all the same.

I hope you take a few minutes to listen to a song recorded by Dionne Warwick in 1963.
May the song put a smile on your face and melt your heart just a little.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cW8Alo_5uI

Enjoy!


























  

Getting Out Of Your Shame

"But shame is like a wound that is never exposed and therefore never heals." - Andreas Eschbach

There are somethings we don't want to talk about. Shame is one of them. More often than not, we prefer to stay silent and live with shame about ourselves in secrecy. We try to hide it and forge ahead. The question is, how is this method of coping helpful to us?

Living with shame about who we perceive ourselves to be is living with emotional pain. But, there is an alternative. The best solution to getting out of our shame is by exposing it. Facing our shame and speaking of it is a better way to get out of our shame-based thinking and into a happier way of being.

A closer look at shame and how it differs from guilt:

"Guilt says I've done something wrong... shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake... shame says I am a mistake. Guilt says what I did was not good... shame says I am no good." - John Bradshaw

Guilt focuses on our behavior while shame focuses on who we are. Shame eats at the self by perpetuating the painful feeling that we are somehow broken, damaged, unlovable, unworthy, and bad. A pervasive sense of shame has its origin in childhood. Its seed is based on how we were treated and how we were made to feel about ourselves in the context of our relationships and interactions with others.

"Shame is a soul eating emotion." - C.G. Jung

Helpful ways to manage shame:

"If we share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive." - Brene Brown

When we give voice to shame, and we meet up with warm-heartedness, it becomes smaller and we become stronger.
There are three words that help us to overcome feelings of shame: understanding, compassion and love.
Shame does not stand a chance when we have an understanding of how we got to where we are, have self-compassion and are open to receive love from others. Letting others love you until you can love yourself is the key to freeing yourself from the shame that lives inside you. As I see it, love is the antidote to shame.

"Love is the most proven way to overcome the feelings of shame." - Sigmund Freud

Getting out of your shame can be broken down into these steps:

1. Face your shame. Bring it out into the open. You will be uncomfortable at first, but eventually will experience a sense of peace with the feelings that live inside you.
2. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and encourage your best self to come out. The ones who spark your desire to do better and to change. Tell them how and what you are feeling. Shame diminishes wherever there is love, support, acceptance, and nurturing.
3. Get to the underlying core feelings that drive your shame whether it is disappointment in yourself, guilt or sadness and start rebuilding from there.
4. Work at making peace with your past by understanding that forgiving self and others is key to healing our wounds. Remember a willingness to shift your shame based perspective will put you on the road to health.
5. Build on your spirituality. It does not have to be of a religious nature, but more about what connects you to life and people in a meaningful way. Discover what gives your life purpose and live it.
6. Practice self-compassion by letting in good thoughts and feelings with the start of each new day.
7. When you feel shame, remember that no one is perfect.

Get yourself out of shame. You deserve to move on with your life!