The Cost of Worrying

What is the cost on our well-being to worry incessantly? Though we know that it's not useful to hang onto worrying, so many of us do it anyway.

It is important to note that worrying can be helpful when it results in problem resolution and taking care of yourself. On the other hand, worrying is completely unhelpful when it serves to hold you back and keep you in a place of misery.

This piece that you are about to read is a reflection on excessive worry when it comes up, what it does to a life, and the use of wise sayings to help you manage the worrier in you.

Worry is fear. Concern over events that might happen in the future. Ruminating over what happened in the past. Living with dread. Missing the moment. Takes the joy of life. Does not prevent bad things from happening. Steals our peace. Keeps us scared. Tense. Anxious. A waste of time. Draining. Exhausting. Makes you feel powerless. Helpless. Frustrated. Stressed out. Unhappy. Keeps you painfully distracted. Busy inside your head. A barrier to living life fully. Unhelpful habit. Heartsick. Living from the what ifs. Leads to self-neglect. Self-torture. Hurtful connection to life. Suffering. Doesn't work.

Transforming worry when it is a part of you is possible when you feel it, express it and are willing to release it. The best remedy against worry is to live in the moment. Change the focus inside your head from past or future to NOW. Concentrating on TODAY makes life more manageable and helps you to move forward in your life. Our worries may look bigger and more frightening in our minds, but become smaller and less powerful when shared with those who love and support us. Worrying becomes weaker by trusting that we have what we need to handle whatever may come our way. Let us remember that much of our worries exist in our imaginary world and do not necessarily happen.
What not to do: Don't berate or get upset with yourself for worrying. This only serves to intensify your feelings and makes you feel worse. Instead, practice self- acceptance and understanding, both of which help us to get to a place of inner peace.
I invite you to consider Thich Nhat Hanh's simple in-breath and out-breath meditation to help you let go of worry. It is basically the practice of breathing in the present: "Breathing in, I know that worry is in me. Breathing out, I smile to my worry." * Focus on your breath and watch how your body relaxes and your state of agitation lessens. This very simple exercise works wonders to bring you back to the present moment.

Wise Sayings to help you regain a perspective when your worry comes up again:

I am an old man and I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
-Mark Twain
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
-Mary Engelbreit
Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it's all small stuff.
-Robert Eliot
Worry trades the joy of now for the unlikely catastrophes of later.
-Tim Fargo
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-English proverb
Action is worry's worst enemy.
-American proverb
Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry- all forms of fear- are caused by too much future, and not enough presence.
-Eckhart Tolle
Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.
-Lao Tzu

The next time your worry comes up, remember All Things are Passing.

I wish you peace.

* Adapted from Thich Nhat Hanh's Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm