The Other Side Of Weakness

"To say that man is a compound of strength and weakness, light and darkness, smallness and greatness, is not to indict him, it is to define him." - Denis Diderot

We are each made up of personal strengths and weaknesses that help define our character and individuality. They are a part of who we are and recognizing their value can help us build happier, more meaningful lives. Yes, believe it or not our weaknesses are just as valuable as our strengths. One is not more important than the other. You see, very often, underneath our weaknesses are hidden strengths. And even when this is not apparent, we can, with some help turn weaknesses into strengths.

Believing and accepting that there is positive in the negative, good within the bad, it becomes easier for us to see that in fact the other side of weakness is strength. Understanding this truth invariably helps us to get over this notion that there is something terribly wrong with us for having our share of weaknesses. Having this awareness will absolutely help you reach a new level of personal growth.

First and foremost, we must recognize and accept our weaknesses. My personal favorite truth on this issue is that no one is good at everything but everyone is good at something. It's the most natural thing to have limitations. After all, we are ALL imperfect beings. Therefore, any fears or worries about your shortcomings are a waste of your time. Once we understand that character flaws are a given and expose them for what they are, shame and embarrassment will no longer consume us.

What if instead of harboring negative self-judgment about our weaknesses, we learned to embrace them with care? Here's what I've learned along the way: Our weaknesses cannot be fully eliminated. We either find ways to avoid them or do the best we can to manage them. Ultimately, to move forward wisely, we must see ourselves realistically. We must have a realistic take on our strengths and weaknesses and more importantly, we must be willing and able to reconsider our weaknesses from a different, more empathetic perspective. In other words, be sure to embrace your strengths and build upon them. Do more of what you're good at and maximize on what you enjoy. But equally important is to stop hating your weaknesses and stop hating yourself. Another way of looking at it is to understand that you have a weakness but you are not "the weakness." It is NOT all of who you are. Acceptance is key.

While getting over our weaknesses is unrealistic, moving past them is key. I am reminded of the words by Dr. Gordon Livingston from his book, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, in which he poignantly states, "We are not what we think, or what we say, or how we feel. We are what we do."  Changing our behavior is critical to turning our weaknesses into strengths and helping us identify weaknesses as strengths.

What your weaknesses reveal about you:

If your weakness is that you avoid confrontation at all cost, it is very likely that you let an uncomfortable/bad situation go on for too long because of your discomfort with an unpleasant interaction.
This weakness may reveal some of your greatest strengths: caution, not saying or doing things that might be regretted; self-control, controlling what you say and do; peacemaker, someone who helps to prevent or stop an argument; being caring and sensitive to other people's feelings; agreeable nature; pleasant disposition; being open minded; flexible and easily adaptable.
Turning this weakness into a strength might entail the following: admitting to yourself  that confrontation is difficult; asking for help, support and guidance whenever your approach of conflict-avoidance is triggered; being aware of your actions or lack thereof in handling difficult situations and closely monitoring your decisions about what to do every step of the way.

Here's another example:

If your weakness is negative thinking and emotions, you are likely to get stuck in repetitive, unproductive thoughts that reinforce negative emotions; imagining or expecting the worse case scenarios and preoccupied with the "what if"; flooded with anxious thoughts and worry; mind is continuously focused on self-criticism and self-blame; negative self-talk; ruminating on mistakes, and bad choices; fixated on what's wrong with self and negative aspects of your life. In this case, the individual is under attack by his/her own thinking process. It is painful to live through this and absolutely exhausting on the spirit and soul not to mention the toll it takes on the body.
A closer look at this weakness however, will help us see that it can be a strength as well. Those who live through this experience are resilient because it takes inner strength to endure the cycle of negativity. Although feelings can hurt, the ability to feel is always a strength. As a matter of fact, negative feelings when expressed in moderation are a natural means of self-preservation, self-protection and attempts at self-help. In other words, it is the way in which we can take care of ourselves. Giving yourself permission to be comfortable experiencing and expressing mixed emotions brings relief and can promote health and well-being. There is no doubt that facing life's challenges while being under the influence of negative thinking is very difficult and yet many are able and willing to forge ahead, push through with bravery and courage. Some other important strengths that are evidenced are sense of preparedness, vigilance, and realism in accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it. Being able to look beyond the obvious and anticipate ahead shows good foresight. In the final analysis, what is important is seeing how there is personal power in speaking the truth and most especially when it is your truth.
As you can see, underneath unhealthy behaviors are hidden strengths.
To turn any weakness into a strength, you must remember: The opposite of your weaknesses can be your strengths.
For instance, if you struggle against negative thinking and emotions you might consider the following:curiosity in testing out new experiences as a way of improving your state of mind; creativity by thinking of new and productive ways of channeling negative moods; an attitude of gratitude to help you appreciate the good times; use of humor and laughter as a way of regulating low moods; open-mindedness to consider new feedback before discounting it; giving attention to health and less to sickness with an understanding that the best defense against negative thinking and emotions is always positive actions; forget yourself enough to move out of your own way; consider being more other focused rather than inner focused and help others because acts of kindness always makes us feel better. Remember that negative emotions can propel us to seek positive experiences that we would not have otherwise.

Concluding thoughts

This much I know is true: When people become sick and tired of being sick and tired, miracles happen in the form of transformations and it is then that weaknesses blossom as strengths. Consider creating your own metamorphosis!

I hope that by reading this piece you now have a deeper awareness and understanding that our weaknesses DO NOT have to hold us back.

Thanks for reading!

Living Wisdom

Living wisdom is about learning from experience and using this knowledge to think and act in ways that can bring about beneficial change in your life.

Applying wisdom to everyday life is best shown through positive action, not just positive thinking; decisions, not just great ideas; good choices, not just insight; and common sense, not just perception.

I believe when we open our minds, we open our lives to the treasury of wisdom that exists within us and around us. When you find it, use it to make the most of your life and always remember to share it with others.

Enjoy this selected list of incredibly wise truths from the late Zig Ziglar, an American motivational speaker who inspired many. May his words give you encouragement for life.

Life Wisdom:

-Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be. If we do our best, we are a success.

-It's not what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life; it is how you handle what happens to you.

-Do it, and then you will feel motivated to do it.

-The better person you become, the better person you will attract.

-Winners evaluate themselves in a positive manner and look for their strengths as they work to overcome weaknesses.

-Worry is the most significant factor that relates to the root of negative thinking.

-Life is an echo. What you send out comes back. What you sow you reap. What you give you get. What you see in others exists in you.

-Surround yourself with people who want the best for you and the people you love.

-Getting knocked down in life is a given; getting up and moving forward is a choice.

-The result of information overload is usually distraction, and it dilutes your focus and takes you off your game.

-If you always do what you've always done, you're always going to get what you've always gotten.

-You are what you are and where you are because of what's gone into your mind. You change what you are and you change where you are by changing what goes into your mind.

-If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost.

-If you want to reach a goal, you must 'see the reaching' in your own mind before you actually arrive at your goal.

-Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand-new day. And it's yours.

-You are the most influential person you will talk to all day.

-When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there.

-You were born to win, but to be a winner you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.

-You cannot consistently perform in a manner which is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.

-Put all excuses aside and remember this: YOU are capable.

-Most people who fail in their dream fail not from lack of ability, but from lack of commitment.

-You hit what you aim at, and if you aim at nothing you will hit it every time.

-We cannot start over, but we can begin now, and make a new beginning.

-The greatest source of happiness is the ability to be grateful at all times.

-Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.

-Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.

-Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.

-Every choice you make has an end result.

-Others can stop you temporarily- you are the only one who can do it permanently.

-You have to feed your mind daily with the good, clean, pure, powerful and positive.

-The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.

-Never blame anyone in your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. Worst people give you a lesson. Best people give you memories.

-Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude.

-Do more, give more, try harder, aim higher, and give thanks. The rewards will be yours.

-The 3 C's of life: Choices, Chances, Changes. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.

-F-E-A-R has two meanings: 'Forget Everything And Run' or 'Face Everything And Rise.' The choice is yours.

-All of us are not born with equal opportunities. But over a period of time, regardless of our parentage, place of birth, prospects in our communities, or education, the day comes when we have to make the choice to let our past teach us- or beat us.


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Remember in order to keep the wisdom, you must give it away.